- Formative Peer Feedback
Points that were made to me, either by my tutor or peers, included:
- To ensure that I was careful with my wording. During presenting, I made my writing confusing by using words such as “responsible”, but not stating the context. The confusion centered around the intention of the word – was I calling young people responsible in a positive or negative way?
- During an explanation of a point surrounding age categories, the sentence became long and hard to follow. This was due to my writing not being sharp, or using short, punchy sentences.
- To correct a slide based on primary and secondary research – the meaning of this prompt had been misinterpreted by myself. This intended meaning was explained to me by my tutor once this error was spotted.
- During my presentation, I mentioned about “ensuring my facts were accurate”, yet did not specify the verification process. After this was brought to my attention, I specified verified websites used for my research.
Points that were made to me during my summative feedback by journalist Mick Clifford included:
- That one of the most important ways to show my research regarding young people being targeted for the spread of Covid-19 is to compare this with different age groups.
- To provide examples of how young people are being blamed, either in the media or from NPHET briefings.
- Young people are at a stage of life where socializing is key, which also feeds into my thesis. This is another important element to my piece.
- My comparison involving how young people in Northern Ireland have been more heavily laid off work as opposed to older people was praised, giving me confidence in my work.
- Overall, my piece was said to be very well-rounded and well put-together.
2. If I were to do anything differently in my piece after the formative feedback, it would include:
- Taking more care in my wording of sentences, in order to ensure my work flow clearly and makes sense to the reader without having to reread it.
- Using shorter, punchier sentences to grab the readers attention
- Ensuring I have read the task given to me clearly, so I hit all learning outcomes and do not miss out on an achievable grade.
- Use a verification process while gathering facts, in order to ensure their reliability. This includes using trust-worthy sources for figures and statistics, such as CSO.
If I were to do anything differently in my piece after the summative feedback, it would include:
- Being specific when using age group comparisons, as this highlights the prompt of my piece and emphasizes the points I am making.
- Providing examples of young people being blamed, although I believe I carried this out in my piece. However, I could have included more.
- Emphasizing further on the job loss rates for young people – perhaps even making this a subheading and delving deeper into the topic.